Kern on the Gridiron: Week 11 Tebow Edition

Another NFL week, another inexplicable Tebow win in the books. Week 11 brought us drama, as it does every week but this week was different. There were some good games but no really crazy upset games like in weeks past. I would say it was more like the drama in an episode of House where you know the formula and the outcome. Here’s the formula for every episode: patient is sick, House figures out what it is and treats it but, uh-oh, he was wrong and it causes the patient to bleed out of his/her eyes, patient is about to die, House then has an epiphany either through some unconnected event or, if it’s an especially important episode, through quiet reflection with an emo-rock song playing in the background. Even though you know how it will end up you still watch to see what kind of medical gore can befall the patient.

"Let's fill his lungs with Play-doh and see what happens"

Without any real drama, minus Tebow which I’ll get to later, I decided halfway through watching the Seahawks-Rams game that I was going to give a peace-offering to the Mrs and give her the remote control and the go-ahead to commence a Food Network marathon. The game was especially difficult to watch not only because I was losing in fantasy football but also because I now have to listen to sports radio here talk about how great the Seahawks are because they beat a slightly crappier team.

Anyway, back to Tebow. I left him out of my writing last week because I wasn’t so sure that he was “for real” because he really hadn’t beaten anyone of any importance took control in the last 2 minutes of Thursday’s game against the Jets and beat them almost single-handedly. The first 58 minutes of the game were almost painful to watch as the Broncos had to punt on 8 straight possessions with 7 of those being without a first down but I will never miss the last 2 minutes of a Broncos game again because that’s when miracles happen to God’s other son. The guy is a gamer and extremely difficult to hate because of his demeanor and toughness. That and it’s hard to hate on his Jesus-yness because, let’s face it, you don’t hate on Jesus because you definitely don’t want Jesus to hate on you. I’m really thinking that in the far off future he is going to be remembered in stained glass art in the windows of cathedrals as the patron saint of the QB sneak.

Jesus, take the handoff

Random week 11 thoughts:

– Jake Locker came in for the Titans to throw 2 TD passes and looked good in the process. As someone who lives in the northwest and a big UW Huskies fan I should be rejoicing in the successes of “our” guys but I really didn’t expect that he’d do well in the NFL. To be honest, he wasn’t a very good college quarterback as he was very inaccurate but had the vision and ability to run that got him out of trouble most times. I don’t think that he’s going to have a lot of success in the future but I’ll enjoy some regional joy in watching him do well until defenses figure him out.

– I watched the Cowboys-Redskins overtime in hopes of watching Tony Romo fall apart but he held it together and they won. That aside, if I have to see Rob Ryan and his old lady wig and distended stomach shown on TV one more time I think I’m going to throw a brick through my tv.

He looks like The Dude from The Big Lebowski got pregnant.

– Packers won again. 10-0! Thanksgiving is going to be tough though as they have to go into Detroit on 4 days rest. Good luck cheeseheads!



About Josh K

I've always been known as the "funny guy" but getting that "funny" from my brain to paper is still a work in progress. For as far back as I can remember I've just wanted to write for a living and now that I have some big changes in life I finally have a story to tell. Here goes nothin'.....
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One Response to Kern on the Gridiron: Week 11 Tebow Edition

  1. joem18b says:

    I just hope that Tebow doesn’t get hurt before everybody has come to agree on how he fits into football history. Suppose, for example, that he wins two more games with his feet and then wrecks his knee. We’re left with controversy about his worth. Let him stay healthy until defenses figure him out or until he turns into a football demigod. Then he can wreck his knee if he wants.

    I’m speaking as a Raiders/49s fan who wants to see the Silver and Black get another crack at him.

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